As I sit in the sun on a glorious, lazy Saturday morning, working on (finally) editing my cowboy novel so I can start sending it out, I started thinking more and more about the process of sending stuff out, what that means, and what it means to get rejected.
As friends and family are urging me to get my stuff out--damn near coercing and using shrill tactics to hide their passive-aggressiveness on the topic--I continue to tell them that it's not about the destination so much as it is about the journey. I love writing and I love the prospect of coming home after a shitty day at work, open up my computer and pick any time period to write in. I become my favorite characters and live vicariously through them. Of course I want to be published someday, but I'm perfectly content to "float around aimlessly" for awhile, as I told a friend recently. Her response: "That's fine for awhile, just don't get lost." :/
Could it be my friends and family think I'm afraid of rejection? Could it be they're trying to "force" me to get my stuff out because maybe they think I won't do it on my own? Am I afraid of rejection??
While the prospect of being rejected isn't appealing, I truly find myself not really caring. Perhaps after all the rejection, I know I'll still have my writings to keep myself warm at night, even if they aren't available for other readers to do the same.
Plus, I've been rejected from so many jobs in the last four, five years that the idea of another rejection is just meh at best--I'm simply numb, and not afraid of rejection by any means.
And what I said is true: it's not merely the destination that matters, but the journey.
So as I battle time and again with my friends and family about my timeline of submittals to agents and publishers, I must keep in mind that they're doing it for my own good.
As long as they realize that I will continue on the next step when I'm good and ready.
That being said, it's time to dust off the cowboy novel I finished in 2010 NaNoWriMo. First rounds of editing have been sitting for the last year on the 10th page from the end, and that's just freehand edits--I still need to type out the corrections. DH said once again last night how I need to finish it and start sending it out..."no matter how bad it is or how much you don't like the story anymore." Got nothing to lose, right?
But in true NaNoWriMo form, a NoWriMo is reserved for writing ONLY. And while in an ideal world you should have a NoWriMo every other month, those "rest" months should be reserved for editing. That's what I gathered...Or, maybe, that's just a self-imposed plan that I have yet to follow through on. And if I follow this plan, that makes March a NoEdMo--Novel Editing Month.
My 1,724 word/day goal for February's JNoWriMo is still calling, which leaves little time extra for anything else.
Suck it up, J. Leigh. No excuses. Just shut up and do it!
And so I shall.
JLH
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