Desire, vision, focus.

Is it silly that I picture my novels on the shelves at Barnes and Noble? No, I didn't think so. It's a good way to visualize my dream and then work towards it. With my pen name, however, I noticed something kinda crappy...

First of all, I wanted my pseudonym initials to be the same as my real ones. Then, I wanted to pick a name that was bold, adventurous, romantic, and easy to remember. So I chose "J. Leigh Hunter". This was a name I picked many years ago. It wasn't a last-minute thing...an impulse buy, more or less. I spent days--months--working on my pen name.

And then I went to B&N and found out that there are two other (prominent) authors with the last name of "Hunter". One of which is Madeline, which is fine, but the other is Jillian. Jillian sounds an awful lot like "J. Leigh".

The bright side is that neither of these authors write Wild West/American Frontier historicals, mainly Regency. So that's not too much of a conflict of interest.

Another thing I noticed is that at B&N, and also at my library, the H authors are way down low on the bottommost shelf. Crap. That sucks the big one.

I'm not sure how marketing works for romance novelists and their publishers, but I can only hope for good reviews, peer ratings, and perhaps out-turned books when they hit the shelves. If customers are not coming in for my book, then maybe I can hook them with a really sexy cover.

J

Traditional boys' names that are more popular for girls.

In my current novel, I thought it would be funny if my hero was born with a more feminine name (something traditional for boys way back when, but is more popular as a girls' name now.) Not easy to do.

But I found a list due to my own meanderings around the web and through baby name books. See the following:

Ashley
Jocelyn
Leslie
Shannon
Valerie

My hero's referred to as "Colton" through the story, and I want him to finally tell the heroine his birth name at the very end. I want something girly...But what?

Would love to hear comments and suggestions!

J

Synonyms for "vagina".

Thanks, UrbanDictionary.com.

The female reproductive organ. Synonyms include:

copher, cunt, pussy, twat, cooter, beaver, fish lips, taco, camel toe, muff, snatch, fuck hole, garage, oven, love button, penis glove, cock sock, cock pocket, JJ, hoohah, bajingo, cum dumpster, sperm bottle, goop chute, slit, trim, quim, pooter, love rug, poontang, poonanie, cooch, tunnel of love, vertical bacon sandwich, bearded clam, cookie, cooleyhopper, nookie, the pink, honey pot, cunny, vag, meat curtains, hatchet wound, putz, fur burger, box, front bottom, gash, kebab, kitty, minge, snapper, catfish, vertical smile, lovebox, love canal, nana, flower, the cum dump, chocha, black hole, sperm sucker, fish sandwich, cock warmer, whisker biscuit, carpet, deep socket, cum craver, cock squeezer, slice of heaven, flesh cavern, the great divide, cherry, tongue depressor, clit slit,laps, fuzz box, fuzzy wuzzy, glory hole, grumble, man in the boat, mud flaps, mound, peach, piss flaps, the fish flap, he furry cup, stench-trench, wizard's sleeve, DNA dumpster, tuna town, split dick, bikini bizkit, cock holster, cockpit, snooch, kitty kat, poody tat, grassy knoll, cold cut combo, Jewel box, rosebud, curly curtains, furry furnace, slop hole, velcro love triangle, nether lips, where Uncle's doodle goes, altar of love, cupid's cupboard, bird's nest, bucket, cock-chafer, love glove, serpent socket, spunk-pot, hairy doughnut, fun hatch, spasm chasm, red lane, stinky speedway, bacon hole, belly entrance, sugar basin, sweet briar, breakfast of champions, wookie, fish mitten, fuck pocket, hump hole, pink circle, silk igloo, scrambled eggs between the legs, black oak, Republic of Labia, juice box, Golden Palace, fetus flaps, skins, sausage wallet, Holiest of Holies, sugar hole, The Death of Adam, home plate, Deer Hoof, Golden Arches, Cats Paw, Mule Nose, Yo Yo Smuggler, Mumbler, Dinner Roll, Crotch Waffle, Piss Fenders, crack, Melvin, Dove Breast, Brakepads, Vedgie, Slurpy, Vacuum Vulva, Pastrami Flaps, Hot Tamaki Walk, Buffalo Gums,Rooster Jaws, Wagon Ruts, Beaver Teeth, Mumble Pants, Ninja Boot, Marcia, Skin Canoe, Fatty, Mossy Jaw, The Big W, Chia Hole, Lip Jeans, Beetle Hood, Hungry Minge, Welly Top, Frum, Pancake Fold, Tongue Roll, Bologna Flap-Over, Furrogi (Poland), Fortune Nookie, Bearded Taco, Calamari Cockring, Displabia, Slot Pocket, Bluntfrunt, Fishamjig, Pole Magnet, Pocket Pie, Clamarama, kitty cage, Chicken's tongue, Conch shell, Crack of heaven, Dog's mouth, Door of life, Fly catcher, Fruit cup, Jelly roll, Lobster pot, bunny tuft, knish, her asshole neighbor, lotus, nappy dugout, moneymaker, womens weapon, tackle box, bone hider, red sea, pizzo, jizz recepticle, The Helmut Hide-A-Way, hairy heaven, furry 8 ball rack, crave cave, arbys with fur, fish canyon, toolshed, snake charmer, Furby, Enchilada of love, Ham sandwich, Camarillo brillo, Brazilian caterpillar, dick rack, boy in the canoe, flesh tuxedo, Mound of Venus, queef quarters, Venus butterfly, cream canal, apple pie, pie, wet mark, private area, thresher, punash, salami garage, slurpee machine, pink cookie, penalty box, ground zero, meat crease, bait, birth canal, holy grail, pole hole, pork pie, fuzz bucket, one-eyed python trail, bubble gum by the bum, stink rink, theme park, saloon doors, pink truffle, bitter & twisted, burger bar, meat counter, temperamental ringpiece, python syphon, big bud, the Wombsday Book, the condo downstate, snake lake, the indoor barbecue, pound cake, beef tomato, tickled pink, launch pad, horn of plenty, the indoor picnic, hamper of goodies, flapped bap, bonefish, close encounter with the turd kind, sperm bank, man's charity bash, bush tucker, midnight dip, the one-door vulva, the welcome opponent, the Twatlantic Ocean, temporary lodgings, field of dreams, bean, cooze, old catchers mitt, devil's hole, lucy, pish buffet, pooswaa, poonaner, davey jones locker, pink panther, tinker bell, south mouth, dick eater, wonder bread, wolly bolly, foxhole, hot pocket, head catcher, Lawrence of A Labia, silk funnel, dick driver, purple people penis eater, ponchita, cherry pop tart, fat rabbit, scunt, pee jaws, mingus, The Notorious V.A.G., dugout, babyoven, penis parking, cooter muffin, the promised land, cha cha, the shrine, bitch ditch, fury pink mink, mammal hole, ever-lasting cum stopper, the toothless blow job, happy flappy, wilt chamberlian's daily glove, the code defierthe salt water taffy factory, mommy's pie, the easy bake oven, the deflower patch, the virginator, the schlong sucker, the dea bone patch, the vegitarian's temptation, the vegan store, the blow hole, the pump protector, bag pipe, Spitball Bullseye, meat wagon, pickle stinker, jezebel's smell, yoni, willys haven, scrumpter, peach, sweat box, yeast pocket, penis warmer, tampon tunnel, penis pothole, cucumber canal, egg drop Box, sperm shack, dick dungeon, cock curator, b.o.b.'s bungalow, mommy parts, tuna pot pie, nice slice, peter vise, rack of clam, peters grove, penis purse, grandest canyon, fish dish, banana box, tuna spread, pink portal, count fapula, red river gorge, happy valley, revolving in/out door, baby zipper, richards house, stop-n-pop, bone polisher, packin shack, weiner wrap, clap trap, dildo hotel, axe gash, pearl hotel, sea food six pack, clam canal, coose canal, dick deposit, wand waxer, vidgie, erie canal, candy kiss, gauntlet, round mound of beehound,lick n' stick, lap flounder, tomahawk chop, chin-chin, pachinko, cuntry pie, lip tip, the big casino, one eyed worm hole, amazon forest, cock cave, fuck donut, coochie pop, babby, wet seal, pissy froth hole, bald biscuit, the unmentionable, mans ruin, peeshie, hairy potter, courtney cocksleve, panty hamster,deep pink, jaws of life, gizmo, faith, cock magnet, slippery slide, Meat tunnel, pink heaven, squid, dick basket, hot spot, poochika, pudding, bowl, love cave, squeeze-box, he bone collector, goodie basket, depository, pink turtleneck, bread-box, little debbie, pole hole, pandora's box,snail tracker, cuntzilla, homebase, pud pocket, bear trap, indian bones and the temple of poon, chanch, big montana, noochie, choot, golden valley, nappy roots, dick mitten, mystical fold, red bread, meat locker, douche luge, pushin cushion, cocktease.

What...that's it? :)

JLH

Novel Update.

I'm at 134,600-some words when I left the library last night after a four-hour stretch (and a five-hour stretch on Saturday!) I should get a bumper sticker that says, "I CLOSED MFPL".

Things are moving right along! After pulling through a part in my novel that was fairly difficult, for whatever reason, it seemed as though my progression has sped up significantly. It's not the reward that's spurring me along; it isn't even the punishment if I fail to finish. It's just...I can see the light.

One thing I did at the very end of the night yesterday was get rid of all the miscellaneous stuff at the bottom of my story. This story is a few years old. Through that time, when I wrote dialogue and exposition that I thought was wonderful, I found when I edited that it was ill-fit in that particular spot. So I moved it to the bottom of the document--available, but essentially out of sight. I realized that I had ten pages of random, miscellaneous quotes, conversations and exposition that was crunching my style. Trying to finish a story that never looked finish due to the words that my cursor was butting up against was exhausting. It was also misleading to think that I had 140,000 words when I really had 134,000...

So I moved them to another Word document, the veritable purgatory before the cutting room floor. They're there if I wish to revisit a graveyard, but chances are I won't use them at all (out of sight, out of mind...). Chances are I'll write something better anyway.

I have a few chapters left to go, and then the inevitable, painstaking, time-consuming process of editing. My hopes are that I will swipe through my story only twice before handing it off to the poor, trusting souls of my entourage who wish to edit and proofread before I start the inevitable, painstaking, time-consuming process if finding an agent, editor and publisher.

Pushing to finish a novel is not hard; I suspect the worst is yet to come. As Winston Churchill said, “Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.” A good quote, but I hate thinking of my story, my heart, my baby as an "unhealthy state of things."

Seven days to go. Wish me luck!

J

I'm finishing a novel this month, god dammit.

Please excuse the profanity, but I'm sick of my weakness, sick of procrastinating, sick of dreaming of the day that I'll become a novelist. I'm a writer, true, but I'll never be a novelist if I don't finish a bloody novel.

My boss at work is a business coach, but he's become my life coach of sorts. Truly. And let me tell you how invigorating it is to feel purged. That man has hit the bullseye on several issues, and he's kicked my ass several times in the last few weeks when I complained or made excuses. It hurts, but, man, do I need it.

November is National Write a Novel Month. Not just finish a novel, but write it...like, beginning to end. From scratch. I told him that, and then he asked me, "so, how many novels you working on right now?"

I wish I could accurately describe how sheepish I acted. Safe to say, I was quite sheepish when I replied, "oh, close to fifteen or so."

"And you haven't finished one yet?"

"No."

I'm not quite sure how it happened, but he sort of forced me to promise to finish a novel by the end of the month. If I do it, he's buying Mike and me dinner. If I fail, I have to buy him and his wife dinner at Mr. B's Steakhouse. That's damn expensive! Oh, god, what did I get myself into??!

So, what am I doing? Finishing a goddamn novel. You hear me, world? I'M FINISHING A NOVEL!!!

So leave me the fuck alone while I push this fucker out.

(Not you guys, just...everyone else.)

J